Hi everyone!, thankyou so much to all of your comments to my intro thread, its much appreciated!. I meant to come back sooner, but what with family life, work, etc, its not always easy getting on the laptop!.
Well, a little update on my situation ..... in my last post i said that i was waiting to see occupational health before i returned to my job as a nurse (i was off sick with my terrible hands). O.Health said they were happy for me to return as the skin on my hands were intact, and they gave me some Dermol soap to use at home and work. They advised me to reduce my glove-wearing on the ward (not easy in nursing!), and to take time to dry my hands properly, etc, etc.
I was really nervous about my first shift back, although i had only been away for a week and a half, my P had got so much worse, red raw (but 'intact') hands, red raw elbows, and a million spots all over my arms (that was the visible area), i was paranoid about what the patients and my collegues would say -although we are in the 'caring' profession apparently, not all of my colleagues are very tactful, and this was proved, when one of them said to me "what the hell is that ALL OVER you?!" i replied "its psoriasis", she then said "eugh, its not contagious is it?!". As you can imagine i felt just gutted, with a massive lump in my throat, my lovely hubby had been so nice before i left for work that day telling me that it wasnt as bad as thought, nobody would notice or comment, etc, but they did. Only that one particular colleague though, but it was enough to leave me feeling ugly and insecure for the rest of the shift
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I only work 3 days a week, but i had all my 3 days together, and then followed by a night shift on monday just gone, so as you can imagine, my poor hands took a battering. I really tried to reduce my glove-wearing, but most of the time, i couldnt bring myself to carry out patient care without gloves! (its not always a pretty job), and obviously washing my hands, even with the dermol soap took its toll.
Then another kick in the teeth..... i saw my manager on my 3rd shift in (first time since my sickness), ive worked for her for almost 7 years, and when i explained how bad my P was, she said that she thought it would be better if i just left the ward and become a bank nurse as it would "suit my situation", then i could "choose my shifts and work where ever i liked", this really hurt, not just because of the obvious -ASKING ME TO LEAVE MY JOB but i worked out her hidden agenda, if i carry on working on the ward and have to go off sick with my P then i still get paid, working as a bank nurse i would get no sick pay. Sucks huh.
Anyway, after a few shitty days at work, i did manage to pick myself up again despite the hurtful comments.
Yesterday, i spent the day with my family, and the weather was beautiful, i did reach for the long-sleeved tops when deciding what to wear, but then i braved it and chose a short sleeved top (but did apply some foundation to the worst parts on my arms!). I was nervous about going out with my P on show, but i honestly felt great when we were out and although i felt safer wearing my sunglasses (for some strange reason), i didnt feel like everyone was gawping.
Im not sure if i could brave showing my back or legs yet but it was a start yesterday, and very liberating really, i definatly felt back to my normal happy self
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I also went into the BodyShop, and spoke to a very helpful girl who seemed to know a lot about skin conditions including P, and she recommended a moisterising balm made from Hemp, and also a waterproof Hemp handcream. So i bought them.
Ive only been applying them since yesterday afternoon, and already ive seen such a difference in my hands, the redness has been reduced quite a lot, i swear if the Hemp helps clear it up then i will take her the biggest bunch of flowers to say thankyou!!.
Im still applying alove vera everywhere on my body twice day, and the betnovate to my hands.
Just have to wait until the 10th June now for my dermatology appointment.
All of this still sucks, but im happier because i FEEL happier, i hate getting down about things, but i will try and stay positive, and hoping the Hemp will work!
Katie
x
