New to group

[Paul_Robbo]

Hello everybody

My name is Paul and I have recently joined this group.  I do not have PS myself but my girlfriend of nine years (Sue)has had it really bad for the last eight and a half years - we had six months together before she developed her condition.  She has tried everthing available so far and not really had to much sucess apart from a good clearance a couple of years ago when we went to the dead sea for 2 weeks. We would like to go back but cannot afford to at the moment as we have just bought a new house together with a big mortgage The reason I wanted to join this forum is because I am hoping to pick up tips in how to carry on support her in a loving way - this may sound strange but from a partners point of view PS is such a stressor its hard to know what to do sometimes as it is so easy to say the wrong thing and get very hurt yourelf when the closeness you need yourself is not happening becaue of the PS - hope that doesn't read to selfish a thing to say here.  I have read loads of posts from people on this site over the last couple of days and I have to say that I think that you are all wonderful supportive  people and do a brilliant job keeping up morale and sharing the experiences you have on a daily basis. Sue is really down at the moment as she has just come of methotrxate and has flared up really badly. The strain on our relationship at the moment is pretty bad also so if anyone has any ideas to help her I would love to hear them.   A friend of ours who has a daughter with PS has advised of a new treatment centre on France - has anyone heard of this and know much about it ?

[Pumpkin]

Welcome Paul_Robbo

And what a wonderful boyfriend you are.

You don't sound at all selfish - if you were - you wouldnt be here.  Know exactly what you must be feeling, as has happened in my life and has been brought up so many times on these boards, about how when our P is bad, we push away the people closest to us, as although they say they still love us and dont care about what state our skin is - we are feeling low inside, and we don't want them to see or touch us.

So keep up the support, and we'll look forward to seeing you and Sue posting more shortly.

Pumpkin

[Hanna]

Hi paul,
It's lovely to have you here I think it's great that you are supporting your partner, I know how hard it must be as my boyffriend has been with me since my second big flare up we've been through thick and thin with it he's takin me to hospital when i couldn't drive.
It really does upset him and always keeps his fingers crossed when I try something new.

has your partner looked on this site?

Hanna xxxxx  

[Paul_Robbo]

Thank you.  Sue hasn't been to this site yet but I will be recommending it to her as I think it is great !!

[Mrs_Sheepz]

HI Paul,

I agree with the others - it's great that you joined! Hopefully Sue will find her way here to because especially in times when you're down this site can pic you up.
Unfortunately we won't be able to offer you both a miracle cure for p (which I guess you haven't been expecting anyway).
There are a lot of people on here that are not directly affected with p. Maybe it's worth trying to do a topic on it and see if you can share information.

I have recently very much thought about the aspect of closeness in relationsships that you talk about. It has put a lot of strain on my relationsship as well :-/ but I still hope my boyfriend and I will get through it.
Maybe it might help you to read other members opinions on that. Here is the link:
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feel free to write your point of view from the "other side" as well if you want.

Welcome to the board! I hope it will give you at least part of the support that most of us (direct) p sufferers get from here.

sheepful

[elaineG]

Hi = good on yer, Paul.

[SJ]

Hi Paul (and hopefully Sue)  

What an absolutely great bloke and partner you are!

My ex-other half checked in here on occasion too (cos he wanted to learn more). Needless to say the P was a big strain on our relationship and unlike you, he couldn't get his head around it very well.

P can put an awful strain on a relationship...and as ex  said to me many times 'it's hard for me too'. He never completely 'got' how difficult having P is, how very 'personal'. I think he understands more now (we are on talking terms and perhaps not completely over yet!).

Do get Sue to pop along...

I don't know much about the France thing. Any more info you can provide?

Hope the house is cool  

SJ

[Hazel]

Paul Robbo, what can I say, you are obviously one hell of a guy! Just keep on supporting your partner and making them feel special as there are times with p when you feel like Quasimodo!!

[Stuart]

Hello and welcome Paul.

[loopyloo]

Hi Paul... you sound really nice I just need to get my boyf better at using the comp then maybe get him in here!!!  
well done for supporting her, that in itself is such a great help
best of luck and let us know if you find out any more about this france thing! Lorraine