New to the forum, not new to psoriasis!

[Grumpy]

Hi. Found this site at the weekend and have just spent the last few days trawling through all the old threads! I used to be a cynic and thought there was nothing anyone else could do to help me, but I've learnt so much from reading all your posts and somehow I don't feel quite so alone anymore. It's great to read about others' similar experiences from people who can understand what you're going through, and to see all the various tips and advice as well.

My psoriasis started in my late teens and I think I've been in denial about it to an extent for more than 10 years. It started on my scalp and has gradually gotten worse and worse over the years to the point that it's pretty much on every part of my body now. In the last few weeks, it's also made a first appearance on my hands and face too. It's now the worst it's ever been. Going in to work is a nightmare. I may also have to miss out on a rare promotion opportunity because I just don't think I could cope right now, let alone the fact that I can't even face going in to work at the moment. I'm embarrassed to admit it, as a guy in his thirties, that in a mid-year review with my line manager recently, I actually broke down in tears as I was explaining some of the problems I was facing to her.

The inspiration for my username comes from the fact that a colleague at work insists upon calling me a grumpy bum, because I've been particularly miserable lately due to my worsening psoriasis, although she doesn't know that I have it. If only she knew what us psoriasis sufferers have to go through.

I'm seeing a consultant dermatologist now and am preparing to start on biologics after having tried everything else with no success. Reading about some of your experiences has given me hope, although I'm not getting my hopes up too high only for them to be dashed yet again. After reading various posts here, I've also decided to experiment with cutting out dairy, and I've made a resolution to eat more healthily in general and to watch what I eat. I long to be able to be myself again, to be able to do the things I used to do, to be able to wear what I like, to be able to go on holiday again, to be able to spend quality time with my friends and family, to have my life back, to be free.

Thanks PHO!

[arizona]

Sounds like you are on your way to doing just that 

[Grumpy]

Thanks arizona! I hope so, but like I said, I'm not getting my hopes up too much.

Talking of being in denial, I went to see my GP this morning to see if he could give me something to use on my face, and I ended up being signed off on sick leave! He was surprised at how much worse I'd gotten and said if it was any worse, he'd consider admitting me to hospital, as an in-patient. He was also asking if I'd been getting any fevers or chills or feeling unwell, which I can't say I have, other than being tired from not sleeping properly. I didn't even know that was something associated with psoriasis.

I'd been reluctant to take sick leave, even though my manager had suggested it. I'd been doing shorter hours for the last few weeks, using the hours I'd accumulated doing overtime, and had taken this week off as annual leave to get some respite, but the doc said to me, "You're not actually on leave, you're not on holiday, you're actually on sick leave!" So he's signed me off for 2 weeks. Says I'd be doing my employer a favour by taking time off to recuperate, rather than potentially making myself worse by continuing to work and putting myself under more stress.

So I spoke to my manager to explain what the doc had said and to explain properly for the first time to her what I actually suffer from - I'd never told her before exactly what it was that I had, just that it was a chronic medical condition. I printed out this factsheet to take with me and give to her:

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She was very understanding and turns out that she knows someone who has psoriasis, so she was able to relate to a degree. Told me not to worry about work and not to worry about letting people down and generally put my mind at ease. She even offered to lend me her DVDs to watch while on sick leave! I should count myself lucky to have such an understanding boss. Also, the promotion issue isn't an issue anymore because that's been delayed till next year, so hopefully I'll be better by then and will be in a position to apply, and won't have missed the opportunity.

So all in all, not too bad. It's a huge weight off my mind to not have to worry about work. Hopefully, I won't get any worse now before I start the biologics, although I'm still not sure whether I'll be able to start them because there are still tests that I need to do (blood tests, latent TB test, x-rays).

I'll probably be spending a lot more time here as a result!

[Nicknackwack]

Hullo Grumpy and welcome to PHO from me 

Good to read your posts which many of us here will be able to empathise with. And it's good to read that you are getting the right support from work, your GP and hopefully treatment with biologics.

Count on additional support from fellow sufferers here on PHO  Inter-act, do research here, make new chums ~ PHO is an excellent resource and support group

You are not alone chum !

Nick 

[peter05]

wellcome to pho i have on biologics humira for one year now & my p is 100% better now,in the last year i have used this forum a lot it has been a great help with lots of good advice & kind words when needed so i hope you have success with your treatment
 PS the spell check is a great help to me but i am a bit thick

[Grumpy]

Thanks for the kind words, Nick and peter05! 

I will definitely do as you suggest, Nick, and spend a lot more time on this forum.

Glad to hear Humira has been working so well for you, peter05! How does it feel to be able to have a normal life again? Must be wonderful! Difficult for me to imagine right now.

[peter05]

Thanks for the kind words, Nick and peter05! 

I will definitely do as you suggest, Nick, and spend a lot more time on this forum.

Glad to hear Humira has been working so well for you, peter05! How does it feel to be able to have a normal life again? Must be wonderful! Difficult for me to imagine right now.

12 months ago i could not imagine a normal life, but after 3 months on humira it was like new life, hope you have the same results

[alec101]

Humira has also changed my life...wishing you all the best

[Grumpy]

Thanks alec! Glad to hear your success story.

Strange thing. I had a letter from my GP surgery today telling me to make a telephone appointment to discuss my test results, but it was the dermatologist at the hospital who requested the blood tests (both for while I was on Acitretin and also for a potential switch to biologics).

Is that normal? I'm assuming it's not good news if they contact you like that, right? Otherwise, my dermatologist would have just waited till I next saw him?

Has anyone else had that happen before? I will be speaking to my GP tomorrow morning, so will find out fairly soon, but I'm felling kinda worried now! 

[BabyD]

welcome to PHO Grumpy
 home to us all much good advice 2 b found and always an ear if you need a vent

weather it be good or bad yr P is always going to be part of your life the sooner you learn to love it the eaiser your life will be!
 dont hide yrslf away in shame spread the word like you spread the plaques yrl be surprised how many of us are out there now
sounds like you have a good derm there are lots of options now and PHO is the best place to look if your considering a new treatment we've all been where you are and share our flakey love  xx