the heartbreak of psoriasis

[Patty-Kelly]

Hi My Name is Patty,
I am 36 years old, and have suffered from psoriasis since I have been 6 months old. My Mother told me she used to have to take me for tar soaks and light treatments before I could walk.

I dont remember much when I was a small child except when it was extremly hot out and my mother would dress me in long sleeves and pants when all the other children were in bathing suits and shorts. my brother and sisters would run from me and call me a freak.

As a teenager, I had already learned to hide it well. When I started 8th grade the school kicked me out as 100% of my body was covered with psoriasis, and told my mother I wasnt to come back until they sought treatment for me.
I spent 2 weeks in the hospital with that outbreak.

As an adult I have learned to turn a deaf ear to the snide comments and questions. years of counceling havent really helped, I still go through my bouts of depression.

Over the past few years I have developed
arthritis in my joints, and have it in all my nails. my derm doctor has taken me off all my cortizones and steriods, he told me they thin the skin and cause stretch marks, news to me since i have been using these creams and ointments for 20 years.

I hate that my body feels like its 50, and my mind wants me to act 36. I have 3 children, and I am in the middle of a divorce to a man I was married to for 13 years. He always told me he could live with the problem, and i trusted he could. Well he met someone else and said to me, " its nice to touch a woman with smooth silky skin."  I wanted to crawl under a rock. And now my 8 year old son was diagnosed with psoriasis, and my ex husband blames me, tells me its my fault that I disfiguered his son.

I has been a tough life, and even though the suicidal tendencies are gone, I still suffer from the heartbreak of psoriasis, and the depression will never go away.

thanks for listening...Patty

[Dani]

Patty,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for letting us in on your story. It really is a heartbreaking one I must say.

The part about your ex husband is unbelievable but even in my short years I have learnt that men are generally arseholes. I know it sounds unusual, but the best way to get over your depression and insecurity is to stop hiding you P. The sooner those around you accept it, the sooner you can.

As for him blaming you for your son's P, it is not your fault. I never knew my father, and no one on my Mum's side has it, so I assume it was passed down from him. But I never blamed him and niether has my Mum.

I have only had my P  a few years, and had already developed a style, which meant that covering up has never been too much o an issue to me. I mean, I won't wear skirts out if I can help it but I try to stay positive.

I hope everything works out for the best, for both you and your son. You'll find a lot of support on these pages.

D xx

[Guy]

Hi Patty

Thanks for letting us know about yourself.  Having p since being 6 months old is quite something.

Welcome to the forum - I hope that posting here and reading through the writings of others helps you with the ongoing stress of living with the big p  - I know that it helps me to cope when I feeling particularly crappy - I'm 40 and have had it with me since I was about 11 so I know how crappy it can get.

Good to have you along
Guy  

[jackgray]

Dear Patty

Sorry to say it but your ex is an insensitive pig and I believe that people like that will get their comeuppance.  

My ex knew me before I had P and he really was a pig but even he never made me feel bad about my P.  My new partner has only known me with P and at the time of meeting him it was very bad.  There was no normal skin on my stomach, back and bum.  I was having day treatment including UVB and tar treatment.  He loves me for me not what or how my skin looks.  If anything it is me that has the problem.  When you feel down it really does affect your skin so try and keep positive.

I also have three children and my oldest boy was diagnosed with Euruthe Multiforme about 5 years ago.  I will never forget it. He wakened up one morning and he had P like welts all over his face, arms and hands.  I just remember feeling a shiver run through my body and screaming inside WHY WHY??.  I automatically assumed that he had P.  I phoned my doc and he told me to come straight away with my son.  When my doc saw my son he immediately phoned my skin clinic in Hammersmith Hospital and told me to straight there.  I remember feeling absolutely distraught and thinking how could I have given this dreadful thing to my son.  After a lot of discussions and photos being taken by derma doctors it was concluded that no he did not have P but had Eurehtye Multiforme.  This is a very rare condition which starts with the cold sore herpes virus.  It is one of those things that if you have had it once then it is more than likely to reoccur.  And unfortunately for my son it does every year and sometime twice a year.  

I can completely understand your feelings about your son having P but it is not your fault.  It is not your fault in the same way as some children wish they had brown eyes but due to their parentage they have blue.  Do not blame yourself and do not allow anyone to make you feel guilty.  You have just got to be as good a mother as you can be and be able to support your child in what may lie ahead.

Please don’t ever feel guilty and give your ex the evil eye from me the next time you see him.

Jackie

[jackgray]

Sorry my spelling, this is correct

Erythema Multiforme

[itchy-n-scratchy]

hi patty
Sorry to hear about your ex's attitude, remember its not your fault that you have p. Like you i have had p since i was 11 yrs old and am now 44 so I can safely say Ive heard every put down and name calling about my skin. It was a problem for me when I was younger but i have learned to have a smarter mouth than the ignorant majority who judge people with p.
If your ever feeling depressed and need support remember we are here to help......Itchy

[Michael]

Hi Patty

That is one of the most touching messages I have seen on the forum. Hopefully you will get some relief by being a member and sharing your experiences. All we can do is support each other, offer friendly advice and a shoulder to cry on. I hope you find the forum useful and I wish you the best of luck...

One day there will be a cure and this site will become redundant until then I hope it helps, even if only a little...

Good Luck

Michael

[Trasi]

Hi Patty - I too was 'dumped' by my partner because of P - there are people out there who care and to whom the skin doesn't matter!

Wish you all the best

[rachel25uk]

Hi Patty, I suffered from depression too and the skin doesnt help does it! My four year old daughter makes me laugh about it she said a mummy with scabs is the best mummy and silky smooth skin is just boring! My friends and family are all supportive and have never said anything cruel to me, I have had no problem with boyfriends either none have minded it, one said it made me special! Girls at school were cruel though, but i got used to it! at least we have our arms and legs and dont have an awful terminal illness, my birth dad has psoriasis and has psoratic arthritis, we get together and compare our patches and call each other scabby, and when we have our light treatment we have to fight to see who gets the best tan! We are all going through it so dont let it get to you x Rachel x

[SarahC]

Hi Patty

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.

As you can already see, this is a great place to come and hang out with people who really know what it's like.

To be dealing with so much takes an enormous amount of strength and courage.

Take time for yourself and do not let your ex's hurtful attitude bring you down.  There are good people out there, and lots of 'em are here!  

S