Are your lives up to normal standards?

[Princess Sarah]

Hi, well what is bothering me right now is that I feel that when I am older I cannot have a sexual relationship (like one night stands) or any other fun which involves being intimate as I feel that every guy I like he will think I am grosse and unclean and just trampy I guess. What has happened for you lot? I don't mean to sound biest but women would tend to be okay with her man if he had psoriasis but I feel like men's standards when it comes to women are outrageous these days. (I am talking about the boys in their late teens early twenties)
Thankyou.
Sarah xxx

[lulu]

Hi Sarah,

Hopefully you will find one of the good guys who will love you for yourself.   My son is 12 and is following in my footsteps with P - I don't think he has realised yet but it will be a probelm for him when he is older.    I hope he finds someone who understands that he is not dirty or unclean and love him as he is.

[rachd]

I went through a rough time when I was 14 and felt very much like yourself. All the stuff that was being used to treat my skin was tar based and I constantly felt dirty and unclean and I hated the way the stuff smelt. Things weren't that great when I was a school and was picked on because people didn't understand and I was very defensive about my p. As I got older I always felt that no-one would want me because of my skin and I held back when it came to relationships. Luckily I have a guy who understands how I feel about my skin and he sees past that. There are some good guys out there. Don't let your skin hold you back. My experience is that most teenage boys are dealing with a lot of insecurities with growing up and bodily changes themselves. There are going to be people who are mean and will do their best to upset you. Having p does not mean the end for relationships. I'm sure there are a few people within this forum who will agree.

[Stuart]

If a guy cannot look for inner beauty , he is not worth the trouble.

Sorry , just being philisophical  

I am certainly not a young person any more , but even when I was in my twenties , my feelings for someone did not depend on what they looked like or if they had a disability or whatever..I was never that shallow.Most of my friends felt the same way.There were one or two of course , but they were only interested in their own "credibility"....who had the best looking "bird" on their arm....very sad guys ...

There are decent guys out there.  

[Britny]

I can understand how you would worry about it. I am almost thirty now (sob sob) and as I was already panicking about the fact I'm getting a bit long in the tooth and their arent many untaken fellas out there lol, starting to suffer with psorisis in the last few months knocked me for 6. I thought it was the end of my life and that no one would want to look at me again (sadly my face is where i suffer). Well I have been pleasantly surprised, the guy I have fancied for ages met me when I first started working with him and loked attractive and has then spent the last 3 months working with me when i looked and felt dreadful. Well imagine my surprise when just before Xmas he admitted that he really liked me. Now i'm not sure if anything is gpnna come of it as unfortunately we met each other while we both have a lot happening in our lives and arent in teh right frame of mind for anything but it just proves that there are decent guys out there whp will stilll find u attractive in spite of how bashed your confidence is about it.

[ScouseIrish]

As a fella in the age vacinity of late teens/early twenties (21 to be exact), I am probably as good as anyone to answer your question. I tend to find that most decent fellas (I include myself here) never actually go for the best looking girl. I'm not saying that you are not the best looking girl or that Psoriasis makes people worse looking than they are, but some people on these boards are saying how they dont wear skirts or sleeveless/low-cut tops. To be honest, they are not necessary!

Usually the decent fellas do go for personality. This sounds like an old cliche, but it really is true. Obviously there are guys out there who go for anything that moves.(damn, I've lost track of where I was going with this!)

Anyways, so what if by some small chance some fella turns around to you after seeing your Psoriasis and calls you grosse or unclean? What harm will it do? You get depressed for an hour or so until you realise that he was an idiot anyway (obviously) and that you didn't want to be with him anyway!

Think of your Psoriasis as a decent person screening process!

[Welshwitch]

i've had one night stands, Sarah, and long term relationships. P is more of an issue to me tham it ever was with the partners. I was amazed how little it bothered them. But after a while I realised if I wanted a decent sex life I'd better drop the hangup!!

WW

[Mrs_Sheepz]

I''ve only had one boyfriend so far (who I'm still together with and don't plan on changing )
Same as WW p was more an issue to me than to him

[Morgwyn]

My husband and I met when we were fifteen at school - I had it then, and I have it now. He has never seen the disease. He only sees me. I couldn't ever believe him up to now - but his family tend to run to white hair very very early (his father was completely white haired by 30) - it's now struck Laurence - he's half white half black! I think he looks like a distinguished badger! The point is - I dont notice it, but he worries about it almost as much as I do about my skin. That's when it hit me. He doesnt believe I dont see the white hair, and I dont believe he doesnt see the skin. We're both telling the truth after all!
So.......... the moral of that long winded story is......... there are people out there who will ONLY see you. Believe them when they tell you that or you'll spend fifteen years doubting them. Dont do them that disservice. Good luck with your quest.
Peace. Out
Moggy x