Depression

[Tim_]

This thread is related to Andrew's post in the Chat Board and has a twofold purpose. One is to try and help Andrew cope with his Depression in the same way we cope with P, by support and information. Plainly he has medical advice from the relevant professionals and we are focusing on trying to find ways to help him cope rather than a medical method.
Often just talking about problems can help find a solution but it is much harder with Clinical depression as it seems to take over someone's life dominating every thought and action. The cause is not always obvious but the consequeces are, the changes to a persons life can be severe and hard to live with and all seems to narrow down to one thing. Depression.
Thoughts of suicide are plainly something that can occur to somebody suffering from depression, a hard issue to think about let alone discuss but nonetheless unsurprising if you cannot cope and believe you have no way finding a way to cope. If we don't talk about it how are we going to find a way for people to cope?


The second purpose is raise awareness of the fact that many of us do suffer from depression and too higher percentage of P sufferers are likely to suffer from Depression, so it is something we should know more about to enable us to try and deal with it and support those of us who are having to deal with it.
while we are not medical proffesionals in this we can share our experiences and ideas and most important I think talk to each other about as often too many people try and deal with depression alone. So I would like you to post your experiences and if you suffer from depression please join in.

Information and experiences will help us all understand and seek ways to help.


Tim

[baz0570]

Hi all

even though you will see from a lot of my posts i get really down. I am a qualified psychotherapist ad help lots of people with depression.

I dont help people with P too close to the bone if you know what i mean. For anyone wanting some good cheap or even free couselling contact your local college and speak to the tutor in charge of their counselling courses they will usually help and advise on what would be your best options localy.

Hope this may help some of you as it has me.

Remember as well this forum has been my biggest form of support through a lot of my bad times and the MODS and members need a pat on your backs coz i prob would still be sruggling without all of your support.

Be positive i know its hard but thats your biggest weapon against depression

Barry

[Tangles (Donna)]

As a grief and loss counsellor I deal with moments in peoples lives that can be very confrontational as far as emotions and feelings and grief and how familys deal and dont deal with it

I have had moments in my life when ending it was a option - but I found reasons not to - my two boys dont deserve to live without their mother and so from that moment of realisation I started on having half a hour without thinking of hurting myself to having full days to full months and then years - the rubber band trick helped me (putting a rubber band on your wrist and flicking it when that thought that you dont want comes into your head)  you quickly work out how many times you think that bad thought daily

My P sucks it really does and somedays I cant look at myself with it - but

If I didnt have P then I wouldnt have learned that my lifes not perfect but it could be so much worse and it was for a good while - and i got through and i will get through again

this thing we call P affects us all in different ways and makes us feel isolated but we arent really we all suffer just in our own ways

talking through the pain and issues can really help - not dealing with it makes the issue harder to deal with

goodluck to all 

[jjoblogs1]

 
i cant really comment,
the only thing i would say.that if anyone is really down,
with feelings of total hoplessness,
always stay in comunication with eveything,
even if it means being near a phone for 999 calls,anything,

if a person feels like whats the future for me i cant see a way out of any! perdicament,

well,the future is today,now,in the next 24hrs,
dont worry or concern for next week,next year,when one is old,lonely whatever,
stick with today,and get through it,but communicate,

try and think positive thoughts,
these positive thoughts could be anything,even down to making a cup o tea,

try to concentrate,if need be,but not to hard,
stay busy,if people cant help themselves,through feelings of worthlessness,
help others,anybody,if they need help ,
just stick with it,everybodys life is preciuos,to someone,

all the old cliches are true,light at the end of the tunnell etc.

[darrenc]

ive read this 3 times now and as much as i want to i cant share my experinces with depression

andrew or anyone else for that matter if u do have troubles with depression please pm me as i have alot to offer on this subject as ive been there and got through it its a battle which can be won

[JUDGE DREDD]

Its not something i have ever suffered from but there is help out there to people who do.

As regards Suicide i have experience of this in my family. My aunts son my cousin shot himself on a beach with his brothers gun.

His family were absolutely devastated by it and never quite recovered. He could only have been in his early forties at the time and had a job he liked as a Firefighter.

I would have been twelve at the time and did not know him that well so it was not as bad for me.

His job had nothing to do with the suicide though. I would urge people who think its the answer to just THINK.


Organisations that can help.
---------------------------

The Samaritans
---------------

Tel: 08457 90 90 90
Email: You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login


Choose Life - Suicide Prevention in Scotland.
------------------------------------------

You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

Breathing Space
----------------

Breathing Space is a free and confidential phoneline service for any individual, who is experiencing low mood or depression, or who is unusually worried and in need of someone to talk to.

tel: 0800 83 85 87 6pm - 2am

You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login


PAPYRUS - Prevention of Young Suicide in the UK.
-----------------------------------------------
    
UK resources and support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress – particularly teenagers and young adults.

You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login


FARM CRISIS NETWORK
----------------------

FCN Helpline: 0845 367 9990

FARM CRISIS NETWORK provides pastoral and practical support to farming people during periods of anxiety, stress and problems relating to both the farm household and the farm business.

You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

Links for Help in Various Categories.
----------------------------------

You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

[Kimmy]

I have never suffered depression to the level others have.  My youngest brother committed suicide 5 years ago and it had a profound affect on us as a family.  On the outside he seemed fine, he was 35 overweight and single, a bit of a joker.  He lived with my mum and they were like the odd couple - he would be home by nine every night to make sure she was not on her own.  We are a big family 7 children and Robbie, was always Robbie.  He went off to work one morning when my sister was visiting from Germany and drove his van into the back of a stationary articulated lorry.
The absolute shock of the accident was bad enough, but as it became evident he had done it deliberately the feelings of guilt were overwhelming.  My mum sadly died of a heart attck 11 months later.
We have all been affected in different ways, my other brother used alcohol as a crutch and is half the man he was, he can't work and his marriage is in ruins, because he was not there to stop him.The very worse thing for me was having to tell my 4 kids that jolly uncle Robbie, who always spoiled them as little ones was dead

 
I don't know why I am writing this down, except that Andrew being able to write things down and reach out for help is such a brave thing to do, and deep down there somewhere he knows that he has something to live for, even if he does not recognise that at the moment.  I just wish my brother would have been as brave as Andrew and saved us so much pain. 
 

[wizzer]

I didn't see your post Andrew, but I think you've done a good thing by putting it out there.

The hardest step is the first one, admitting to yourself that all is not great and that you cant always fix everything by yourself, at least it's always been that way for me.
Try not to push everyone away, let them try to help you where they can (even if its just a hug), there is no shame in it and it definately does not make you a weaker person.
When your depressed, your mind plays tricks and literally turns against you.  You start to believe the little voice that tells you that you are not worth the effort, that no one cares, no one will miss you, everyone will be better off etc.  Don't let that voice tell you it's true, because it's not.

I never seem to learn that 'walking away' from everything is not the right answer, just when my confidence starts to thrive I find some tiny little thing makes me batter myself down again, it is a vicious cycle and one that can leave you feeling very lonely and isolated. I cut myself off from everyone and everything and try to deal with it, it never works.  I still don't know how to deal with 'me', its a lifelong learning curve I think, but it gets a little better each time and the cycle is a little shorter and now the bouts are years apart.
I try to take 'baby steps' and by categorising the problems and attempting to deal with them it all seems a little less of a mammouth task.
It's when there technically isn't a problem, or you dont yet realise what that problem is that it really gets to you, sometimes the overwhelming feeling of not being a part of something brings on so many negatives and reminds you of your lack of confidence that the cycle starts all over again.

Depression can affect people for so many different reasons and it's incredibly difficult for people to understand.  I admit i'm going through the wringer at the moment and I don't have the answers, I don't have the support network and I don't know what comes next.  But I will try, gone are the days when I wouldn't try at all.  I recently deleted from here for no other reason than I am having a hard time and am incabable of just saying 'hey I need a hand', all it did was isolate me further, I seem to think that I can try to help other people but I either don't need help myself sometimes or that no one would want to - the bizarre cycle of depression!

When you are having a bad day, let yourself have a bad day, don't beat yourself up for it, just let it wash over you and tell yourself that tomorrow is a new one.

I think one good point to mention is that the past is the past.  Yes it helps shape us, yes it affects who we are and how we deal with things, but it is still the past.  Find the ways to deal with your past and put it to bed.  You musn't let your past rule your future, ever.  You are in control of your future, how bright a place are you going to try and make it?
I tell myself this when life doesn't feel so great, when I feel it all slipping and it makes a big difference to how I live my life.  Even now Im worrying and thinking if I post this people are going to think I'm some kind of weirdo nutty chick, I'm not, Im just a woman like every other woman, alibet maybe one that worries a hell of a lot more than most!

So don't give up Andrew, you ARE worth more than that.
Baby steps, it's all it takes.

Feel free to pm me if you need to talk, I'd be happy to make a new friend.

[SueB]

Well said Wizzer xx

Tbh before I had my breakdown in 2007/2008 I couldnt imagine what it felt like to feel so low.......didn't think you could reach rockbottom as I did and that light at the end of tunnel wasnt there as far as I was concerned. You just feel like its one knock back after another and its often something small that just tips you over that edge as most depressives will agree.

Andrew you have taken the first and biggest step and thats to write down exactly how your feeling and often in this situation it isnt the easiest thing to do and quite often you can't explain why your feeling the way you do as in my case my feelings changed throughout this dark time.

I was put on Prozac but it was also recommended by my gp to keep a diary and write down how I was feeling, my good days, my not so good days and my middle of the road days.....also helped on my gp visits to take this diary with me so my gp could see from my own ramblings what I had been feeling and what step to take next.

I guess I was lucky Im surrounded by a wonderful family (hubby wasn't so understanding) and my friends.....I was able to disappear to my parents at one point just so that I could get away from my house and have a break from the norm......yes, I had to return but I could just be me and not have to worry about showing how I was feeling because I was with my mum and dad 

Andrew things will improve but unfortunately it doesn't happen overnight and now just about what a year on I do still get bad episodes of depression but I know when Im getting bad and act quickly and try to think of positive things and yeh I guess put on a brave face even when inside Im falling apart.....as I posted on my blog on here I'm often the clown but the person sat at the pc can be low and tearful and no one would know 

Keep posting we are all here for you and others who are feeling the same.


Sue xx

[racheld]

I thankfully have never suffered from depression. Yes I have had moments where everything seems bleak and like there is no way out but I have managed to get back. So it is hard for me to understand how someone can think of taking their own life. I never saw the post.

My nan had a breakdown many years ago and after her death we found her diaries (many she had burnt) and they were so upsetting as she had suffered from depression for years and years. She had tried many times to stop the medication but couldn't cope with the effects of coming off them.
The most painful bit I can remember reading in every single one her diaries was the 31st December every single entry read 'It's been a terrible year. Please don't let me wake up in the morning and have to go through another year'

To anyone who does have depression then please do not think you are alone. There are support groups who can help you and people you can talk to.