Depression

[Breenger]

this is my first post here since around the 15th of Dec 09, i remember that because i posted pics of my christmas tree effort

i knew i was slipping into a major depression and there wasnt much i could do about it. i had to be brave and put on a happy face for my wife and three kids so not to put the dampers on their christmas and i think it worked, but inside me the depression was destroying me.
i have been going through this bout of D for about seven weeks now and i just cant seem to pull myself through it :'(my doctor has put me on amotriptolene(not sure if its spelt correctly)  but the black clouds just seem to thicken above my head. countless nights in bed crying myself to sleep, stopping the sobbing when i hear the missus coming upstairs and pretending im sleeping.
on top of that i am going through a brutal flare up which started just before i went into this grey dark period
the mad thing is i was always the joker in the pack but my skin really has changed my life for as long as i can see.

sorry about the rant guys and gals, just feeling a wee bit sorry for myself.

Breenger

[totoro]

this is my first post here since around the 15th of Dec 09, i remember that because i posted pics of my christmas tree effort

i knew i was slipping into a major depression and there wasnt much i could do about it. i had to be brave and put on a happy face for my wife and three kids so not to put the dampers on their christmas and i think it worked, but inside me the depression was destroying me.
i have been going through this bout of D for about seven weeks now and i just cant seem to pull myself through it :'(my doctor has put me on amotriptolene(not sure if its spelt correctly)  but the black clouds just seem to thicken above my head. countless nights in bed crying myself to sleep, stopping the sobbing when i hear the missus coming upstairs and pretending im sleeping.
on top of that i am going through a brutal flare up which started just before i went into this grey dark period
the mad thing is i was always the joker in the pack but my skin really has changed my life for as long as i can see.

sorry about the rant guys and gals, just feeling a wee bit sorry for myself.

Breenger

Hi Breenger,

Sorry to hear about your bout of D & P. I can understand it getting you
down. I think you in your rights to feel sorry for yourself....it does seem
unfair....however dont let it overcome you.

Im not sure if you have read the other thread concerning Vit D3, fish oils and
shake and juicing diets?

I have been in a similar position to you and the first thing you should do
if you havent been doing so is get some Vit D3 and fish oils. ( or veggie
omega oils if you veggie). THey are great! Since taking the fish oils I have
had  little SAD or depression. Since taking Vit D3 and the shake diet
I have had NO SAD or Depression and my skin has improved brilliantly.
(pics in gallery).

Please get some fish oils and Vit D3 at least if you cant face the diet.

I saw my derm this week and for the first time ever he admitted that maybe
there is something in Vit D3....believe me this is a breakthrough as up untill
now he has dismissed it. However he has seen the changes in my P and general
outlook and I think he may actually soon even mention vit D to his other patients.
( I hope so....I wish I had know about these things years ago).

Anyway I feel for you as those black clouds are bloody awful...but they can
be conquered..

all the best

T

[Sir Will.I.am]

  The dark clouds of depression do pass. The P and all of the problems/difficulties it causes get easier to live with-you just learn to live with it somehow.

[babyblue]

this is my first post here since around the 15th of Dec 09, i remember that because i posted pics of my christmas tree effort

i knew i was slipping into a major depression and there wasnt much i could do about it. i had to be brave and put on a happy face for my wife and three kids so not to put the dampers on their christmas and i think it worked, but inside me the depression was destroying me.
i have been going through this bout of D for about seven weeks now and i just cant seem to pull myself through it :'(my doctor has put me on amotriptolene(not sure if its spelt correctly)  but the black clouds just seem to thicken above my head. countless nights in bed crying myself to sleep, stopping the sobbing when i hear the missus coming upstairs and pretending im sleeping.
on top of that i am going through a brutal flare up which started just before i went into this grey dark period
the mad thing is i was always the joker in the pack but my skin really has changed my life for as long as i can see.

sorry about the rant guys and gals, just feeling a wee bit sorry for myself.

Breenger

Breenger, there are times when we all feel sorry for ourselves .. and that is allowed on this site especially as we all know how difficult life can be.  :'(  It seems particulary so for you, trying to remain upbeat and positive for your family whilst hiding how you are feeling.  Please speak to your GP so that you may be able to have something that works a little better than Amitriptyline - and you may also be reacting to that particular drug as its not suited to all.  Your GP is your best advisor at the mo; meantime feel free to come along and moan here, you'll find lots of TLC and support;  we've each had those dark clouds weigh too heavily at times    ... remember you are not alone.   And Totoro's advice re Vitamin D3 is spot on; its not called the 'sunshine vitamin' for nothing !

Brighter days ahead hun, meantime sending hugs ur way
BB

[riaY]

((((((( ))))))) Hope those black clouds clear away really soon. Never worry about having a rant on here, most of us do at some time or another. I agree with BB you need to see your gp as soon as you can. there are many more meds you could try, it's just a case of finding one that suits you. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk, I know how bad depression can be as do many of us on here. One day the sun will come out again.

[Sir Will.I.am]

this is my first post here since around the 15th of Dec 09, i remember that because i posted pics of my christmas tree effort

i knew i was slipping into a major depression and there wasnt much i could do about it. i had to be brave and put on a happy face for my wife and three kids so not to put the dampers on their christmas and i think it worked, but inside me the depression was destroying me.
i have been going through this bout of D for about seven weeks now and i just cant seem to pull myself through it :'(my doctor has put me on amotriptolene(not sure if its spelt correctly)  but the black clouds just seem to thicken above my head. countless nights in bed crying myself to sleep, stopping the sobbing when i hear the missus coming upstairs and pretending im sleeping.
on top of that i am going through a brutal flare up which started just before i went into this grey dark period
the mad thing is i was always the joker in the pack but my skin really has changed my life for as long as i can see.

sorry about the rant guys and gals, just feeling a wee bit sorry for myself.

Breenger

While reading this thread/post again I am of the opinion in line with BB ad others that you obviously need to discuss the impact of the condition and how you feel about it with your GP. Obviously he/she is the best point of contact, after all they are the medical professionals and while sometimes we may feel they dont listen they are they only person who can make things happen with treatment and writing letters etc. One thing jumps out at me though from your original post is that you are certainly a very lucky and rich person to have a wife and children and obviously they mean an awful lot to you, but i do feel that it may be best to sit down and explain to your wife how you feel so she may try to understand what the problem is. I say this because how often have us men hid our problems that have manifested themselves in others ways due to a fear we would be judged harshly or didnt want to bother anyone or even as we didnt want to seem weak in the eyes of those who consider us very strong. Talk to your wife as well as your GP, your wife needs to know how you feel and what is the problem. Please don't let her feel so left out and uncomfortable that she may start to think it is a problem with her or something else. This way hopefully she can understand as best possible and be someone who may be able to talk through/walk through bad moments with you. I do whole heartedly wish you well and with all of my heart hope your bad days and moments are very few and disappear quickly. I say this as someone who has also been affected at times by the so called dark clouds of Psoriasis fall out and someone who carried the condition as a secret for so many years and cried rivers of tears in private.

Incidentally on the humorous side when I use the term he/she in reference to your doctor I am not suggesting either he or she is a transexual or transgender 

[Breenger]

thanks for all your replies william, loretta, riaY, babyblue, totoro.
im going to try the vit d3 and fish oil capsules to see if they can help my skin.
honestly if i could swap the depression for a broken leg i would do it in a flash.
im actually starting to feel a little bit better now so long may it continue, i started a new job within the company i work before christmas and learning the computer system was really difficult and i dont think that helped with all the stress and sleepless nights.
 i've never worked in an office before and it freaked me out as i was used to being out on the road driving up and down britain.
as i say im not there yet but i can see the light at the end of the tunnell, feeling cheerier and not so many deep lows.
feeling low is a bad bad thing and again i thank each and every one of you so much for your kind and supportive words.

Breenger.

[riaY]

I'm so glad that you're feeling mre positive Breenger. You're never alone on here, theres always someone to talk to. Good luck and I hope things keep getting better and better

[down2earthlad1]

hello, sometimes one type of anti depressant wont work for you, but your gp can always prescribe another one, dont give up! keep trying untill you find some relief!
Take care!

[hels]

just wanted to add my support to everyone elses Breenger,

relate to your words, (as always round here, you are not alone)

best wishes Hels x