Depression

[Soldersplash]

Hi Charlotte, stick with it love. I remember feeling totally drained and numb after my initial sessions. It gets better, really. I had weekly sessions then fortnightly then 3 weekly then monthly then no more. That was spread over nearly a year. In the end I was totally different, much closer to the person i was before the depression took over. That was after over a decade of trying to cope on my own.

All the best,
Daniel

[Charlotte_S]

Thx for all messages of encouragement.  I am a broken record at the moment ...

Had an awful weekend, resplendent with panic attacks on Saturday and then jittery hyperactivity on Sunday (I went to Ikea, made cake, cleaned house, put together some Ikea stuff, shopped for groceries, made freezable dinners for the next few weeks, hauled out all sorts of papers with the intention having a good sort out and then had a little collapse) - today I am exhausted and listless, but at least I have frozen meals for the next few weeks and a clean kitchen. 

Am just hoping that either the medication or the therapy starts to show some results so I can go back to having a sort of normal existence.

[John Boy]

hope the mirtizapine works soon for you
have your dreams been any better now ? also on this drug do you feel that you get startled easy

had to see my Dr Friday and they added in pregabalin to take 50mg 3 times a day

[Charlotte_S]

Hey John

Nope - dreams still enthusiastically awful.  I know the mirtazepine is supposed to help me sleep but it doesn't seem to be helping me stay asleep.  Being asleep is in any case not particularly fun right now.

Am no more easily startled than before - I am still on 'high alert'.  On a plus point I haven't passed out for 3 weeks now - so I am either getting better at spotting the early warning signs and taking evasive action or (fingers crossed) getting better.

I do not feel happier or more content or whatever it is I am supposed to be feeling ... I have a GP's appointment next week on Thursday.

What is the pregabalin for?  Not a drug I've heard of ...

[John Boy]

Hey John

Nope - dreams still enthusiastically awful.  I know the mirtazepine is supposed to help me sleep but it doesn't seem to be helping me stay asleep.  Being asleep is in any case not particularly fun right now.

Am no more easily startled than before - I am still on 'high alert'.  On a plus point I haven't passed out for 3 weeks now - so I am either getting better at spotting the early warning signs and taking evasive action or (fingers crossed) getting better.

I do not feel happier or more content or whatever it is I am supposed to be feeling ... I have a GP's appointment next week on Thursday.

What is the pregabalin for?  Not a drug I've heard of ...

Hi Charlotte

i take a sleeping pill at night too so sleep for me is so much better

the new drug pregabalin has been given to me to help me relax and try to get a better sleep and to slowly come off the sleeping pills
i have to take 50mg 3 times a day so far have no side effects but feel better in myself

have your Dr mentioned about Citalopram for the day to help

lets hope you feel better soon 

[Charlotte_S]

Back to the GP today to review progress.  I sort of want to tell him that I feel much better and that it's all working out splendidly but considering Tuesday and Wednesday this week that is just a lie.  Which is a pity because I had a relatively good weekend - I even made it out to the shops  Really at the moment this is a pretty big thing - my ability to do stuff is very curtailed and I'm not sure that the GP will see that getting on a bus and having a 2hr shopping expedition and then getting the bus back as major progress.  Even if I do.

I've also lost all ability to tell whether or not I look fat/normal/thin/too thin.  The last two times my GP remarked on my weight (too low) and I've been making a massive effort to eat.  Only my clothes don't seem to look any different on me ... and I can't face weighing myself. 

My psoriasis is now so flakey that I leave a small snow storm in my wake where-ever I go.  So I should probably see if I can be referred for UV therapy again.  And I need some blood tests for some hereditary diseases.  And I would like one less thing on my plate rather than one more thing.

[leamarieuk]

Just be honest with  your GP about how you have felt this week, the good and the bad. And if your doc can't look at your history and appreciate what a huge and positive step going out is to you then its time to find your self a different doctor!

Fighting depression takes time, and every little step you take is a step to you winning. Just keep telling yourself that you will beat it!

Good luck x

[vdwpatrick]

I treid already so many cures against psoriasis I already gave up.
Worst part is i used a very agrresif mdicationj for many years and it has now taken it's toll to my body.

As I had the psoriasis on very intimed part I did everything to ty and get rid of it.

Bottem line just make peace with yourself.

A very good ebook that helped me alot in those diffuclt times can be found here.

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[Charlotte_S]

These things are inevitably much less awful than I imagine them to be ... GP's visit was fine.  Am still on same dose of antidepressants ... he said I should give them a little more time before expecting results every day but that small improvements were good.

I've got an appointment next week for blood tests (ugh needles).

Because I am feeling a bit beleaguered at the moment (I can only deal with small things and regular visits to the hospital just feels like too much - yes yes I know that's illogical but I'm still trying to overcome the feelings of panic that assail me when I need to get groceries so it's small steps all the way) we agreed to review the psoriasis at my next visit in a months time - when he would like to refer me on to the derm unit again.

Today I feel more capable than for a long time - which is a nice change. 

[Soldersplash]

Good, Charlotte, it's nice to hear you are getting a little better. Like you say, one little step at a time. Continuing to be patient with yourself and not beating yourself up if you have a bad day is good.