Depression

[SueB]

Great to read that you and baby Ickle are ok.

Look after yourself madam xxxx

[maggie]

my best friend took his life no one had a clue he was in a bad place he was good at hiding it the best thing is too try and talk to someone my thoughts and prayers with all

[ShellyOB]

Hi,

I have suffered from depressive bouts for YEARS.  Spending 20 years in the Navy away from my home and family, a long string of disastrous relationships,  two divorces,  drinking excessively, drugs....  It wasn't much fun.   And then...  three, maybe four years back, (maybe more, maybe less - my memory is fried)  I started taking St John's Wort.   I am a firm believer.  If I'd had it when I got my last divorce (Shoot, when I was married to the wretch), I'd have come through with flying colors.  My GP put me on an anti-depressant and I packed on 15 pounds in 3 months and had suicidal thoughts.  Talk about depressing.  I have had to battle my weight all my life, too.  I just quit them and went back on the St John's Wort.   No side effects, just a leveling off.  None of those crazy lows that sapped all my energy and left me lifeless.  They're relatively inexpensive, readily available and for me?? They WORK.   I don't take them all the time (you're not supposed to), but it seems since I go on and off them, they work much more quickly now when I do go back on them.  I don't know what your all's Docs would say, but I don't care what mine might tell me. I'd take it anyway. It's an inexpensive miracle. 

Shelly

[HelenR]

Hi

I have sufffered from depression on and off (mainly on) since I got p at the age of 19 (I'm 33 now).

I blame p for affecting my relationships and I feel bitter about it.  My psoriasis is widespread (hands, face, ears, everywhere) and I have never had a period of remission since I contracted it.  I feel incredibly lonely as most of my friends are now married and have children yet I feel like I have been left behind and am no farther forward than 10 years ago. 

I know people do form relationships and have p but I feel so unattractive that I don't go out, I just go to work and then come home as I can't wear the clothes I would like and that gets me upset.  After all these years of having p I feel as if I will be on my own forever.

I have tried seeing psychotherapists to alter my thought process but that hasn't helped much - I hate it and cannot accept that anyone would want me looking like this.

Outwardly I am bubbly and try to get on with things but now its all over my hands and knuckles and customers at work are commenting.  I wish I could stay indoors and never go out but I have to work so I have to go on.

I have had bad thoughts but I have a lovely family who would be devasted if anything happened to me and I could never do that to them.  I do wonder what life is for though and I do feel envious of others who have seemingly 'normal' lives as I now feel that will never be me and I so want to meet someone and settle down.

I am hoping to go to the Dead Sea sometime around September this year so am now going to focus on losing some weight for that - I gthink I have been eating to compensate which has made things worse....

Just typing this out has been cathartic, sorry if anyone is bored....

Anyway I'm going to keep smiling and try not to let this beat me  #

Helen xxx

 

[Guy]

Hi Helen

Welcome to PHO.  Hope you make the Dead Sea and get clear ...in your head too.

 

[HelenR]

Thanks Guy 

[Kimmy]

Helen - your post was not boring at all.  I totally understand about the clothes thing - this is my biggest hang up , everythng you wear has to be carefully planned , and I cannot be brave enough to just let my P show, like some people are , and good for them.
Are you seeing a derm, light treatment helped me a great deal and there are lots of treatments available that may work for you.
You say that you have had bad thoughts, and again this is understandable, but you have to care enough for yourself and ask why do all your family love you and you mean so much to them.  Because you are a person beyond your skin or being a bit overweight.  Don't be too harsh on yourself, I have been plastered since I was 7 years old and have a husband, 4 kids and 4 grandchildren, it is only now am I able to talk openly about my skin to people at work and my non immediate famly. Good luck and keep posting
Joan

[TrishR]

Hi Helen, welcome to PHO from me too.

I hope you can keep smiling and eventually find a way to live with P.

I'm pleased to hear your planning a trip to the DS in September.   I hope it does for you what it did for me.  That was to not only clear my psoriasis completely but to help change the way I feel about it too.   It made my whole well being so much better.   I've only been the once (so far) but it has by far the best thing I ever did for my P . . . . and the way I feel about it.

[HelenR]

Thanks both of you.  I have booked to go to DS in May now and already I feel a lot better, more optimistic and looking forward to a break.  I haven't been on a holiday for a long time and I think this break may be just what I need to sort myself (head and skin!) out.  I have been overwhelmed by everyone's kindness on here - its lovely and a support I didn't know I would value which sounds weird but its true!

I'm seeing a derm (am on embrel) - they have blocked any light treatment as they say I have had my share of joules  but they cannot stop me going to the DS!!!

Thanks so much for posting  - I am feeling extra emotional at the moment but its lovely to hear words of support from people who understand.

Helen xxx

[fence man]

tbh ive had a lot going on just recently but have taken great heart from this
thread well done to you all... ...